Remote Work Reality Check: What Nobody Tells You About Managing People You Can't See

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The coffee shop down the road from my Melbourne office has become my unofficial recruitment centre. Not because I'm headhunting baristas, but because every second conversation I overhear involves someone complaining about their remote manager. "She never replies to my emails," or "He schedules meetings at ridiculous times," or my personal favourite: "I think my boss has forgotten I exist."

After eighteen years of managing teams - first in traditional offices, then through the pandemic chaos, and now in this weird hybrid world we've created - I've come to one controversial conclusion: most managers are absolutely terrible at remote leadership. And I mean spectacularly, embarrassingly bad at it.

Here's the thing that'll ruffle some feathers. Remote work isn't harder than in-person management. It's just different. But too many leaders are trying to manage remote teams exactly like they managed office-based ones, then wondering why everything's falling apart.

The Trust Deficit That's Killing Productivity

The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we trust our remote employees. We say we do. We write it in policy documents and mention it in all-hands meetings. But then we install monitoring software, demand constant check-ins, and panic when someone doesn't respond to a Slack message within thirty minutes.

Real trust means accepting that your team member might do their best work at 6 AM or 11 PM. It means not caring if they're wearing pyjama pants to a video call (honestly, who among us hasn't?). Most importantly, it means measuring output, not activity.

I learned this the hard way with Sarah, one of my best project managers. For months, I kept scheduling early morning check-ins because that's when I'm sharpest. Turns out Sarah's a night owl who produces her most brilliant work after 8 PM. My insistence on morning meetings was actually making her less productive. Once I adjusted my expectations and focused on her deliverables rather than her schedule, her performance shot through the roof.

Communication Isn't Just About More Meetings

Here's where I'll probably annoy the productivity gurus: sometimes you need more meetings, not fewer. But they need to be the right kind of meetings.

The mistake most managers make is either over-communicating (death by a thousand Zoom calls) or under-communicating (assuming everyone's fine because they haven't complained). The sweet spot is intentional, structured communication that serves a purpose.

Weekly one-on-ones aren't optional. They're essential. But here's the twist - make half of them walking meetings over the phone instead of video calls. There's something about movement that gets people talking more freely. Some of my most honest conversations with team members have happened while we were both wandering around our respective neighbourhoods.

And for the love of all that's holy, stop scheduling "quick 15-minute sync-ups" that inevitably run for 45 minutes. If you need 45 minutes, book 45 minutes. If you really only need 15, set a timer and stick to it.

The Performance Management Minefield

Managing performance remotely requires a complete mindset shift. You can't rely on visual cues, casual corridor conversations, or the general office energy to gauge how someone's tracking.

I've found that traditional performance reviews become almost useless in remote settings. Instead, I've moved to continuous feedback loops. Every project gets a mini-debrief. Every quarter gets a proper reflection session. And yes, this takes more time upfront, but it prevents those awful annual review conversations where someone's blindsided by feedback they could have acted on months earlier.

The data backs this up too - companies using continuous feedback report 39% better employee engagement in remote settings. Though I'll admit, I pulled that statistic from a study I read about six months ago, so don't quote me on the exact number.

Technology: Your Best Friend and Worst Enemy

Let's talk about the elephant in the virtual room: technology fatigue. We've created a monster where everything requires a platform, an app, or a dashboard. I've seen teams using fourteen different tools to manage what used to happen with email and a shared drive.

My rule of thumb: if you need a training session to use a tool, it's probably too complicated for daily use. Keep it simple. Pick three core platforms maximum and use them well rather than fifteen platforms poorly.

That said, invest properly in the basics. Good laptops, reliable internet allowances, and decent headsets aren't nice-to-haves - they're business necessities. Nothing kills remote productivity faster than technical difficulties that could have been prevented with proper equipment.

The Burnout You Don't See Coming

Remote work burnout looks different from office burnout. It's quieter, sneakier, and often goes unnoticed until someone's completely checked out.

The warning signs aren't dramatic. It's the team member who used to contribute actively in meetings but now just nods along. It's responses that become shorter and more formal. It's someone who used to volunteer for interesting projects but now only does exactly what's asked.

I missed these signs completely with James, one of my senior analysts. He seemed fine in our one-on-ones, his work quality remained high, and he never complained. But over six months, he gradually became a shadow of his former self. When he finally opened up, he explained that working from home had made him feel invisible and disconnected from the company's mission.

Now I specifically ask about energy levels and connection to work, not just task completion. It feels touchy-feely, but it's prevented three potential resignations in the last year.

The Office Politics Nobody Talks About

Remote work has created new forms of workplace politics that most managers are pretending don't exist. There's an unofficial hierarchy based on who gets face time with leadership, who's invited to impromptu video calls, and whose ideas get heard first in virtual meetings.

People with better home office setups, faster internet, and natural video call presence have subtle advantages. Introverts who might have thrived in written communication now struggle in video-heavy cultures. Parents juggling childcare face different challenges than single team members.

Acknowledging these disparities isn't about fixing everything - it's about being aware they exist and making conscious efforts to level the playing field where possible.

The Future We're Actually Building

Despite what the productivity experts claim, I don't think we'll ever perfect remote management. And maybe that's okay.

What we're really doing is creating a new form of professional relationship - one based more on results and less on proximity, more on intentional communication and less on assumption, more on individual flexibility and less on collective conformity.

The managers who succeed in this environment aren't the ones who've figured out the perfect system. They're the ones who stay curious, adapt quickly, and remember that behind every screen is a human being trying to do good work while navigating their own complex life.

Our Favourite Resources: Check out Workplace Abuse Training for essential insights on creating healthier remote work environments, and explore SkillWave's employee supervision resources for practical management tools.